I was looking through some old pictures of you today. A time when there was so much life in your face and light in your eyes. I miss that light. I miss your laugh. I miss the way you made me feel like I was important and loved. It was your mission in life to make sure I knew that I had value. That’s the kind of person you were. And I know that person is there somewhere still– maybe buried deep, but still there just the same.
I have been so hurt and so angry. I have wanted to grab you by the shoulders and shake you and scream at you until you understood what you were doing to me, and the rest of the people who love you. And then I realized that you probably already know that. And it is killing you inside but you’re trapped. I’m sure it’s easier to push me away then to face what is actually going on in your life. You don’t want to be the one who needs help. Again.
I wish I could call you up and talk about nothing for hours like we used to. I wish my phone would beep with a text from you, just asking how my day is going and how I’m feeling. I wish I could meet you for lunch. But what I wish for the most? Is that I could look you in the eye, and tell you how loved you are. How important your role in my life is. How important your role in YOUR life is. You are beautiful and talented and smart. You are funny and feisty and a force to be reckoned with. You are strong and brave. You have the power to change your life.
I wish I could tell you straight up that you don’t have to do this anymore; there is a way out. I’m here for you. I have always been here for you. No matter what has happened in the past and what will happen in the future, I am here. So fight like hell. Remember who you are and who loves you. You are worthy of love and of having a good life. You DO have a choice. I’ll be waiting for you. When you choose to move on, I’ll be here waiting, ready to stand by you. I’ve never left.